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Old Love

by I Made You Myself

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1.
Old Love 03:02
Sometimes When I think of sex I think of my room It's one and two It's just me and you Like vines entwined On the walls of our house Only the strange things that we think about And it's fine It's not by my choice I've died and moved on I'm reinvented, as far As I know If one things for sure, my body didn't rot (my body didn't rot) Still stuck in the same spot Still living the same thoughts I keep sleeping I keep dreaming Again, in your room I find us holding It's the truth In love or lust or anger We all cry the same Ashamed, confused, inaudible Ashamed, confused, inaudible When we fight, It's frustration It's things that we can't have It's excuses that we can't back My completion I find in your voice, In your touch Your eyes show up in everyone Your thoughts are my thoughts The same colors Different patterns I still remember my room It was just me and you Watching movies about love and loss and love again Comparing life just for the hell of it I always knew what you were thinking, Stare and smile Ask me what It's nothing, always nothing You're the only one who gets it
2.
I was in a bad spot Stumbling, slurring, Derailed, and just sapped of all thought I was crawling to you Dragged my weak bones along Within you, I could hide You opened wide, tiny rose You had no damn idea what kind of man I was So you paid the price Pulled you from the soil and sun I let your petals wither up dry You fell apart over night I told you most things you wanted to hear And you were so fast to believe in me You told me most things I wanted to hear But the means of our meeting was something I feared Let's not become in debt, in debt to one another Not so sure that my mind is so willing or body has fully recovered I told you most things you wanted to hear And the deeper your roots would grow into me You told me most things I wanted to hear So I tried to believe There's no life as a weak man Only guilt from what you did or haven't done If you know, Why the wait? Couldn't you say What sits on your mind You're just wasting your time Why do you hide Forgive me, please, you fragile thing I should know better than to let you hurt But my hands, they shake As they hold your fate Unsure I would have changed my ways Had I known that would be planted in doubt But the truth strikes a chord So clear A tune So loud Oh she hates the sound You were bound to be a better thing Without my doubt Oh I feel you Burning away You are a cloud Looming gray with your bad news Deliver yourself from the rain, And the thunderous pound Oh you know how she hates the sound She hates the sound
3.
Started young and Feeling older Growing colder and colder It takes more and more To give you back what you once felt I guess you'd rather die faster Than live slower There's been a lot of things I don't like that you've picked up since then Bad habits all around There's been excuses since way back when For why you can't sever yourself from anything, anything anymore It's as if you like watching yourself sink down to the floor We all know you've been there before As if your spine stopped caring as well I though you were the kind that kills for what you love Grow up And move on grow up Face it You're not too far along with what you want You stop, Devolve, In with your old scores It's too much to handle It's just not enough to break free Oh I wish that you would put up More of a fight But instead, You choose to hide And settle in with it all I'd like to know how you feel Center yourself And maybe someday You'll believe
4.
Disarm Me 07:47
Live through me, my darling You are medicine that keeps me still and quiet We were great once, you know So I don't blame you if you're bitter But please believe me when I say That I would keep you but I'm not allowed You are a sad song stuck in my head You are a melody so draining A snake that wanders through the bloom in my bed The colors stale and cower in your presence With the stuttering of your words I can barely make out who you are Such a damn share Because it hurts To know the way you love is out of touch Dress the armor for my mind Ready your arms at your side Protect your body and spirit It's just a matter of time I'm unsure of when it stops I just know I've had enough Oh you stay close to the source, far too close All signs show life outside of you Always Seeking more from me Lay down In what you are But feel me In the silence of it Destroy The both of us Disarm me, my friend
5.
Play Dead 04:57
I remember it well The hunt itself Through tall grass, In dull heat Your scent is sweet You're on your way down Well on your way down Iron sight bride You are mine My pride And no one else's I'll hold my breath watch it end With elegance, your head shall sit You're on your way down Well on your way down Tried to find your peace With your head below the water And you held this truth like weight around your shoulders But no, I couldn't hold you down Like you wanted me to I couldn't hold you down Like I should have I should have let you live and die in someone else's arms But here I sit In selfishness Your life, your love The both you'd give You're on your way down Well on your way down On my wall We still don't talk Collecting dust I'm losing us Just play dead Then you can run
6.
Grew Some 08:08
Stay, love You and I rhyme There is life to be lived between us But I understand reasons within my control have opposed you and driven you straight Off the edge And with weight On your head You begin your descent Like an arrow struck deep into mounds of concrete You've done nothing but scatter your worth If not chipped, if not blunted yourself If not detached your head Anyone capable of such thoughtless acts, Willingly throwing themselves off that bridge, Would surely be a product of such disconnect From their brain or their back But need I be reminded that the issue lingers deeper than the skin on you neck Was it your neck that stays tender? I feel I used to know these things once But God knows I'm far out of touch With your love I swear I never mean to bring it up believe me I'm trying my best And I'm sorry if I keep repeating myself, I keep repeating to myself The way I thought it was Carry on bare Away from the warmth of the radiant sun Though I've been burned before I'm unsure why it is I keep asking for more So unclear is the path that awaits, yet we wonder what else can we do Besides slowly assume that feeling's abused and subside to the way we see fits What we thought were solutions to bones stretching out, became a stage housing curtain over brick We expect what we give yet we shovel out our fears I guess the price you pay becomes the reason you're afraid What a shame Caught you dancing on my tongue It's a sweet, sweet taste But I've had enough If our last words ride out both of our lungs I'd like to know who you are Oh I can't quite depart from the thought I'd like to know who you are Cuz I only believe in the scars That were left from the war we survived I waged all of my body and mind But sometimes I just wish I died ("Essay on Crying in Public"-Sam Sax) How fast the world spun just after the fact Left you young and still wondering Left me so dizzy and sorry Leeched the life from inside me And twisted my guts for good measure Not sure why after all this time I let myself bleed out but it just happens that way Maybe I'm just too used to the feeing Maybe it sits as more of a home than I think

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released April 9, 2016

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I Made You Myself Chicago, Illinois

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